Giving Thanks: It’s Not Just For Thanksgiving
It seems like at this time of year, everyone is paying a bit more attention to things to be grateful for. Maybe you see a sign at a HomeGoods that says “Give Thanks” and you think, “Oh, good idea!” then it gets your mind churning for examples. Or maybe you are preparing for the annual moment when the family goes around the table to say what they are thankful for before anyone can have some turkey. Whatever the reminder, take it as a moment to consider the role of gratitude in your life.
It is a shame that we need these reminders in the first place or that we only really collectively focus on gratitude during this brief holiday season. That’s because it almost doesn’t come naturally to us to consider what is going right on a regular basis.
Why do we only give thanks during the holidays?
Think about it: all of our bodily systems are designed to keep us alive. Our minds want to keep us safe so they are very good at finding or thinking up all the ways we might be hurt. And isn't THAT something to be thankful for? Sure, but it is also incredibly frustrating and can lead us to feeling overwhelmed or even anxious and depressed. We are so quick to ruminate on all the things that went wrong on a given day or to fret about what needs doing or worrying about the million what-ifs that can fill our brain in a matter of seconds.
That means it takes effort to pay attention to what is going well. And that is where gratitude practice comes into play. I call it practice because it may not come naturally but it is a skill that can be cultivated over time. When we make a point of paying attention on purpose to what is going well in our lives, we are usually surprised by how many examples we will find. Things that go “right” tend to fly under the radar. If it was successful, it is a non-issue. We don’t have to be worried about it, fix it, or process any disappointment about it. Our minds check the box and move on. The “problems” are what stop us in our tracks.
Well, what if we start training our brains to notice, pause, and attend to the moments that go right? What happens is we free ourselves up in many ways. We will likely feel a little better. Maybe less anxious or less depressed. Maybe more content or happy. Maybe we move on to the next thing more quickly instead of spinning our wheels in a negative headspace. Keep in mind, it isn’t a cure for never feeling those negative feelings but it can certainly help us feel a bit more balanced and have moments of positivity or even joy in our day.
How to start practicing gratitude
The easiest way to start practicing gratitude is to make a list. It can be at the end of your day or the beginning. Keep a note in your phone or a notepad by your desk. Then spend a few minutes reflecting on what you are grateful for from that day (or the day before if you are a morning lister). Write down three things that went well. They can be big things or small things but they should be specific.
Here is an example:
When I sliced open my avocado for my salad, it was perfectly ripe and tasted amazing!
My dog snuggled up next to me while I was reading my book on the couch before bedtime.
My two o’clock meeting got canceled and I was able to go for a short walk in the sunshine this afternoon.
It really can be anything! If you want to take it a step further, write a second sentence about why that good thing occurred. So for my list, I might write:
My dog snuggled up next to me while I was reading my book on the couch before bedtime, because I made room for him and invited him up.
Or I might say:
When I sliced open my avocado for my salad, it was perfectly ripe and tasted amazing because I did a good job judging the ripeness when I picked it out at the store earlier in the day.
This second part isn’t completely necessary but definitely adds a bit more bang for your buck. Whichever way you decide to try, be sure to actually write it out. Don’t just think through a few things in your mind at the end of the day. Writing them down (or typing them out) allows you to go back and look at them later. Even if you don’t go back and read them, the act of having the list exist somewhere makes it more concrete than the fleeting thoughts that go through your mind. Trust me. Try it out for a week and see how it goes.
I hope if you do try it, you’ll keep in mind this spirit of gratitude year-round.
Summary/TL:DR
Gratitude shouldn’t be reserved for the holiday season. By practicing gratitude daily, we can shift our focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. Simple steps like writing down three things you’re thankful for each day can help improve your mood, reduce anxiety, and increase positivity. This practice helps train your brain to notice the good moments in life, leading to a better balance of emotions. Start incorporating gratitude into your routine to improve your overall mental well-being year-round.
Work with me
If you would like to get further support in practicing gratitude as a stress and anxiety management strategy, please reach out. Click here for my contact information to schedule a 10-minute, no-obligation meeting to see if we are a good fit. Let me help you silence your inner critic and improve your overall mental well-being.
