Managing Unhelpful Thoughts: Don’t Go Down the Rabbit Hole

Spring has sprung!

I always find this time of year refreshing and motivating. The colors seem brighter, the days are longer, the birds are singing, and my energy is increasing. It is amazing what the first warm day can do to my mood. I know these experiences are true for others as well. While this all can feel wonderful, it can also come with a dark side. That feeling of pressure to make the most of your time.

Your mind says things like: 

Quick, get on top of all the things! Get that spring cleaning done! Plan all the adventures for summer! Don’t waste one single minute! 

And if you don’t listen, it can turn to:

You are so lazy. You are wasting your time. You’re never going to get anything accomplished because you suck. No one wants to go on adventures with you anyway. Don’t even bother.

And before you know it, all that lovely gratitude for this welcome shift of season has turned into a pile of stinky negative self-talk. Your mind can tell you all kinds of stories about how you should be behaving or feeling. Sometimes our thoughts are helpful but other times they really are not. And when they are not, it can be challenging to not become overwhelmed by them.

It reminds me of a metaphor I absolutely love to use with people when negative thoughts become overwhelming and threaten to drag us down: Don’t go down the rabbit hole.

The metaphor

This time of year bunnies are everywhere! (In my neighborhood, at least). They peek out from a patch of tall grass, run and play, and multiply seemingly before my eyes. Like a pesky negative thought, they can catch your attention and distract you for longer than you realize. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice them, mindlessly watch,  and suddenly are completely engrossed before you even realize you’ve totally drowned your plants with a river of water. 

These bunnies are like your thoughts. They race around and draw your attention everywhere but where you want it. It is very easy and tempting to follow those bunnies/thoughts around like Alice chasing the White Rabbit into Wonderland. Oftentimes, if you do that - you will end up down the rabbit hole. Your thoughts or worries will snowball and grow until they are so big (and sometimes scary) that it is nearly impossible to be present. You may miss what the person in front of you has said, or forget to make that turn at that light, or like me, overwater your plants. 

Next, you can end up feeling confused, anxious, distracted, or even exhausted. The effort of chasing all those rabbits can really wear you out!  You might even spiral into a sensation of panic. At that point, it may feel easier to just cocoon into the couch and avoid any responsibility or things that might spawn more of those dang bunnies/thoughts. 

One way to not be so distracted by the bunnies is to cultivate a practice of mindfulness. 

Instead of chasing the bunnies - you simply notice them. For this metaphor, it is an exercise of visualizing your thoughts as rabbits running around in the landscape of your mind.

In your mind’s eye, imagine keeping your feet firmly planted in your yard or on your patio and just observe the bunnies. Watch where they go but don’t follow them. If you find yourself tempted to pick one and chase it, just notice that desire, take a deep breath (or two) and stay put. Come back to the patio and watch the bunnies from a distance. 

This metaphor of distracting bunnies and refraining from following them down the rabbit hole is just one of many ways to visualize your thoughts in a way that gives you space from them. There are many other visualizations you could use if something different resonates with you. For example, you can imagine yourself as a mountain standing tall while your thoughts pictured as clouds move right past you. Or you might imagine your mind as a tree near a riverbank with your thoughts seen as leaves that fall off and drift downstream. In any of these metaphors, the point is to become an observer of your thoughts instead of engaging with them directly. 

The concept may sound simple but it can be a difficult practice to put into place. Give it a try and see what happens. If you are interested in learning more about how to use these types of practices to help with unhelpful thoughts or negative self-talk, reach out. You can contact me here to see if we might be a good fit to work together. For a little more information on mindfulness in general, check out my recent post on it here.