Getting Hooked By Thoughts
Thoughts are strange things. We have them all day, everything but only sometimes do we pay attention to them. Often, that can happen when we get “hooked” or emotionally hijacked by a thought.
What Are “Hooked” Thoughts?
Imagine you suddenly have a memory of an awkward social encounter you had once, you can find yourself reeling down a rabbit hole of negative self-talk and emotions. Or if you are frustrated with a work task, you might have a passing thought about how much you hate your job and that could spiral into catastrophic worries about your competence or the future of your career or financial status.
Something that is particularly interesting is how our ability to think critically about our world and ourselves is part of what causes so much pain for us.
Understanding the Power of Words
Typically, we think in words. Words allow us to comprehend. They allow us to get stuck or hooked in certain situations. Having this amazing ability of cognition means we can think critically about the past and the future as well as the present. It allows us to problem solve and ruminate. It allows us to remember and beat ourselves up for a past mishap or missed opportunity. I think most of us can relate to the pain of what-if thinking in some moment or another.
What if I had chosen a different career path?
What if I weren’t late to that meeting?
What if I had put myself up for that promotion?
How Our Thoughts Shape Emotional Pain
We can exhaust ourselves with the pain and suffering of this type of thinking. Other creatures don’t have this same ability. They have learned behaviors and can remember to take certain actions, like I know if I press that lever I will get a tasty treat. But to our knowledge, they aren’t experiencing shame remembering that time they fell off the wheel and the other mouse witnessed it.
It is because we have these abilities to use our powerful minds to think about things, we can get caught up in our heads and suffer.
And as mentioned earlier, this can all happen in the blink of an eye. How many thoughts do you have in a given moment? Probably more than you could articulate. Our thoughts move more quickly than our voices or our pens (or keyboards).
Breaking the Cycle: Identifying Thought Triggers
For this reason, it can be helpful to find ways to slow ourselves down. After all, the first step to coping with or changing any process is to notice that it is happening. That means noticing the contexts that tend to trigger unhelpful thoughts and any particular unhelpful thoughts that show up over and over again.
Slowing down and building self-awareness isn’t always an easy thing to do. Enlisting the help of a professional, or a trusted friend or partner can be helpful. Practicing mindfulness can be a great way to learn how to get some distance from your thoughts and actually notice them without getting caught up in them. Journaling is another tactic for reflection that will slow you down long enough to think about your thinking instead of just experiencing it.
Tools for Detaching from Negative Thoughts
At the most simple, you could start a thought log or diary. This would entail you keeping a paper or electronic log for a period of time - a week is a good length - where you just list out unhelpful thoughts as they occur. List the thoughts and what you were doing at the time they arose. After you do that for a week - you may start to notice patterns.
Once you start building awareness of these tendencies or trigger points, you can start working to build a repertoire of coping skills so that unhelpful thoughts aren’t going unchecked.
Sometimes it can be quite difficult to build this self-awareness on your own. If you are looking for guidance or support in this process, I’d love to help. It can also stir up uncomfortable emotions and having a place to discuss and work through those things as they arise is a great resource.
Summary/TL;DR
When our thoughts hijack our emotions, it can be hard to feel in control. This post explores how unhooking from intrusive thoughts can reduce stress and anxiety, improve self-awareness, and create room for more positive experiences. You’ll gain insights into slowing down and noticing patterns, and even learn simple techniques like mindfulness and journaling that make a difference. Building this awareness takes practice and patience, and it’s often helpful to have professional support. If unhelpful thoughts feel overwhelming, individual therapy for anxiety management might be a good fit.
