What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness can seem like a buzzword these days. And for good reason. It can be an incredibly helpful and powerful practice to incorporate in your life. I almost always talk about mindfulness with my clients (and friends…and family members - basically, anyone who will listen) because of the benefits. The majority of people I’ve worked with who have incorporated mindfulness into their lives, have found some success or benefit by doing so.
While you may have heard the word mindfulness or been advised by your social media algorithm to meditate more, I find there is a lot of mystery around what it all really means. In this post, I hope to define and clarify what mindfulness is, how it can be helpful, and some basic ways to incorporate it in your life.
What is mindfulness?
The definition of mindfulness is actually pretty simple: it is the act of paying attention on purpose to the present moment. It is not clearing your mind of all thoughts. That is a common misconception that can lead to a lot of frustrations about doing it wrong since it is pretty impossible to create a completely blank mind.
In actuality, the point of mindfulness is to focus on the present moment. That includes noticing thoughts, feelings or emotions, physical sensations, and your environment. So, if you are paying attention to your breath (one way to practice mindfulness) and you notice your thoughts have wandered to a conversation you had last week - you are still doing mindfulness! You’ve noticed you got hooked and now you can bring yourself back to focusing on the thing you wanted to focus on: your breath.
Components of Mindfulness
Present moment awareness:
As described above, the biggest component of mindfulness is a focus on the present moment. The present won’t always be pleasant, but that is okay! The point is just to notice what is happening, right now, whatever that may be.
For example, when you spend time focusing on your breath you might notice uncomfortable thoughts arise or you might become aware of an uncomfortable physical sensation. That is okay, just acknowledge those things and keep going.
Non-judgmental attitude:
A more difficult aspect of mindfulness is to approach anything that arises with a non-judgmental attitude. That means not labeling sensations, thoughts, or feelings as good or bad. Simply notice and acknowledge.
For example, you could have the experience of noticing yourself thinking about an awkward conversation you had recently. With a non-judgmental approach, you could just state to yourself “I notice I am thinking about that conversation I had last week.” Conversely, with a judgmental approach you might say to yourself “I can’t believe I’m still thinking about this conversation. I’m distracted. I’m terrible at mindfulness.” It is important to practice compassion for yourself and your experiences. Approach whatever comes up for you gently, with curiosity and a non-judgmental attitude.
Curiosity is a great attitude to cultivate. Sometimes in mindfulness materials, you might see this called beginner's mind. That is exactly what it sounds like - approaching a situation or practice as if you are a beginner with no assumptions or preconceived notions. Each time you focus on your breath, sensations, or environment - try to see it or experience it as if it is the first time. You might surprise yourself with the things you notice! Some days you might feel your breath more strongly in your chest, other days you might feel it in your nostrils. Focusing on a tree outside your window you look at every day, you might notice a knot or branch with an unusual pattern you see daily but never have actually noticed.
Acceptance of the moment
Commonly, mindfulness is promoted as a method to achieve relaxation or soothing. While this may occur sometimes with mindfulness - it is not the goal. The goal is to notice without judging and without trying to change anything. If you notice a thought or sensation, that is all you have to do, simply notice. You don’t have to try to change, reframe, or eliminate the thought. You don’t have to change the sensation. It doesn’t mean you are approving of these things, just that you recognize they are occurring.
Why practice mindfulness?
There are many benefits to starting a mindfulness practice. Some of the research-supported benefits include reducing stress, decreasing rumination, increasing focus, and lowering emotional reactivity. By learning to focus on the present moment, you may even find yourself having deeper connections to enjoyable experiences. It can also improve relationships through greater awareness and attunement to what is going on for you as well as others. Additionally, many people experience benefits related to sleep by practicing mindfulness strategies at bedtime!
How to practice mindfulness
There are so many ways to practice mindfulness. You can practice formally by sitting in a quiet room and going through an audio or self-guided exercise. You can practice by paying attention to your breath, your body, sounds, or something you can see.
A example of a formal practice exercise
A very simple way to practice formally, would be to spend a few minutes focusing on your breathing. You don’t have to breathe in any special way, just notice your natural rhythm and focus on the sensations of the breath.
Set a timer for five minutes. Sit upright in a chair or on the floor and close your eyes if you are comfortable. You can also focus on a spot in front of you. Breathe normally and pay attention to the sensations. Where do you feel the breath? It could be your chest, your belly, your nose or even somewhere else. You might notice a rising and falling sensation in your shoulders, chest, or stomach. You can count your breaths, just up to ten and then starting over again. Your mind will likely wander and that is okay. As soon as you notice it has wandered, gently return your focus to your breath and resume counting at one. Continue this until the timer goes off. That’s it! You’ve completed a mindfulness exercise!
An example of an informal mindfulness exercise
You can also practice mindfulness informally in everyday life, while doing things like walking, cooking, working out, or playing with your kids.
Pick an activity to do mindfully. Let’s say it is cooking a meal. Bring your awareness to what is happening with that beginner's mind I mentioned earlier. You likely have cooked hundreds of times before but approach it as if it is new. Listen to the sounds of the boiling water, notice the smells of the herbs and vegetables as you cut them, taste your creation and try to pinpoint different flavors. Do the smells and flavors change subtly as you chop and combine them? How does the consistency of the food shift as you boil, sautee, or add ingredients? The idea here is to do something you generally do on autopilot and try to deepen the experience by paying close attention to all the different aspects of the activity.
Tips for practicing mindfulness
Find a spot to practice where you are unlikely to be interrupted.
Be consistent. It is hard to grasp the benefits of mindfulness and build the skill if you aren’t practicing consistently.
Start small. Even 5 minutes can feel really challenging when you are just beginning. You can do a little less to start if it helps. Begin with 2-3 minutes and work up to five. Over time, you may even find that building up to much longer practices (10, 15, 25, or more!) can be beneficial for you. If not, that is okay too.
Use apps and guided exercises to help you stay on track if you want or need them. There are many lovely paid apps that can be helpful but there are lots of wonderful, free guided exercises available on the internet or through apps as well. Play around and find what you like and what works best for you.
Even if it is hard, keep going!
Learning to practice mindfulness is like trying to build up strength at the gym. You wouldn’t go to the gym and after a week expect to see dramatic improvements in the amount of weight you can lift or distance you can run without getting winded. Strengthening your mindfulness muscles is the same. It takes practice and consistency. So even if it feels hard - keep practicing!
You don’t have to try this alone. Thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise when practicing mindfulness can be challenging. It can be hard not to be critical or get discouraged when they are. If that happens, it can be helpful to have some extra support. I often incorporate mindfulness into the work I do with my clients and if you’d like some help - I am here for you. Contact me here to see if we might be a good fit!