Anxiety: An Overview

A majority of the people that come to me for therapy are struggling with anxiety of some kind. And while many people will experience anxiety in some form or another during their lifetime, not everyone will recognize or understand it when it is happening. For this reason, I wanted to provide a brief overview of what anxiety is, how it might show up in your life, and a few things you might do if and when it does. 

What is anxiety? 

Oftentimes, it seems that people use the term anxiety interchangeably with worry, stress, or a fear of any kind. While worry is a component of anxiety, it is not the full story. Anxiety is an emotional response to a perceived future threat that also impacts bodily sensations and our thoughts. It typically involves persistent worry or nervousness and tension. While this can be a normal part of life at times, when it becomes intrusive, difficult to manage, or interferes with your ability to live your life in the ways you want - it can be very upsetting and disruptive. 

Signs of anxiety 

Anxiety can affect us physically, mentally and emotionally. Not everyone who experiences anxiety will have the exact same symptoms or signals. It can be really helpful to learn what yours are so you can better understand and take care of yourself when they show up. 

Physical signs

Some physical signs include: 

• Restlessness 

• Tension - perhaps particularly muscle tension in your neck or shoulders 

• Increased heart rate

• Headaches 

• Shortness of breath 

• Sweating 

• Lightheadedness 

• Shaking 

• Upset stomach 

• Fatigue 

Some of these physical cues might seem pretty straightforward and noticeable, like a rapid heartbeat; however, others can be subtle. Restlessness or an upset stomach can be pretty easily explained away and muscle tension may go unnoticed for long periods of time without paying active attention to your body. Be sure to check in with yourself from time to time to notice bodily sensations or experiences. 

Cognitive signs

Cognitive aspects of anxiety refer to the thoughts that go along with the emotion. The obvious one we’ve covered already is worry. Other ways your thoughts can be impacted include experiences such as: 

• Rumination: such as dwelling on or replaying past experiences over and over in your mind

• Catastrophic thinking: coming up with worst case scenarios and overestimating their likelihood

• “What-if” thinking: trying to sift through all possible outcomes; however, this generally is distressing because we focus on mostly negative possible outcomes which then snowball into catastrophic worries (see previous bullet point)

• Negative self-talk: this involves being hard on ourselves and judging ourselves harshly 

Emotional signs

Experiencing anxiety can also lead to other emotional experiences. We might not even be able to name that we are feeling anxious but we might notice ourselves being short or irritable towards others. We might feel sadness related to missing out on something because we felt anxious about it so avoided the event. We may even feel guilty or angry sometimes alongside our anxiety. We rarely experience one emotion at a time and it can be helpful to try to identify and name them all whenever possible. 

Avoidance

Another important component of anxiety that almost always goes hand in hand with it is avoidance. When we are anxious about something it doesn’t feel pleasant. When something feels bad, we often try to do something to stop feeling bad. With anxiety, this usually means we avoid something. When we avoid the anxiety-provoking situation - we feel better. Until we are faced with a similar situation again and then the cycle continues. 

Here is an example: 

I feel anxious when I think about having to speak up in a staff meeting. I don’t like how this feels so I decide not to speak up and share my ideas. My anxiety decreases because I’ve successfully avoided engaging in the activity that made me nervous. I live happily ever after…just kidding! Actually, I probably feel okay about that situation until the next staff meeting where I’d like to share my great idea but don’t end up doing so because the sound of my heart pounding in my ears and sweat accumulating on my palms is too overwhelming. I sit quietly again and continue to feel bad that I, again, didn’t speak up like I had planned to do. 

Sound familiar? You can cut and paste any other anxiety provoking situation in place of “speaking up during a staff meeting.” It could be “asking someone out on a date” or “asking my boss for a raise ” or even “using public transportation.” Either way, the cycle is the same. We avoid the things that make us anxious and it can limit our lives. We don’t get to take action and move forward in some areas that might feel really important to us. What we are actually avoiding in these situations is the discomfort of experiencing anxiety. So, if we can learn to get comfortable with that discomfort - we can have some very meaningful experiences! 

Do it scared!

This is where the motto “do it scared” comes in. Now, facing anxiety is not necessarily a way to eliminate anxiety. I’m sorry to have to say that the goal is not to be “cured” of anxiety. It is about learning to live your life in ways that anxiety is less limiting to you. Being able to ask for the raise or the date or take the train into the city even though it scares you. 

4 Simple Techniques to Cope with Anxiety

If you find yourself experiencing anxiety, there are so many things you can do. I’ll offer a few ideas here but get creative and certainly if you are feeling quite overwhelmed, please consider seeking professional assistance. 

1) Deep Breathing

You might find that taking a few deep breaths, especially belly breathing, can be helpful. When you breathe from your belly (imagine a balloon in your stomach inflating when you breathe in and deflating when you breathe out), you activate systems that increase relaxation in your body. Do this for a few minutes to help calm tension. 

2) Mindfulness

You can start practicing mindfulness, which is simply being aware of the present moment. This can be particularly helpful when your thoughts are racing and you are having trouble focusing. To do it, just spend a few minutes focusing your attention on something in the present on purpose. Usually, this is your breath. Don’t try to breathe in any particular way, just focus on how it feels and where you feel it (ex. Your stomach, chest, nose, etc). If you find your mind has wandered away, just gently refocus your attention back to your breathing. 

3) Visualization

Engaging in visualization can be really helpful for some people. Close your eyes and imagine being in a calming place. This might be by the beach, in a clearing in a forest, or in your bedroom. Be sure to try to conjure up all the details - what does it look like, smell like, feel like or sound like?

4) Self-Care

Check in with yourself to be sure you are taking care of yourself in your day-to-day life. If you aren’t getting proper sleep, nutrition, or physical activity it will be much more difficult to notice and cope with any emotional experiences you are having. 

Work with Me

Look out for future posts going more in-depth with various coping strategies. And again, if you are having trouble identifying or coping with any of your emotional experiences, especially anxiety, I encourage you to seek out a professional for help. If you are interested in working with me around any of these issues, please reach out. Click here for my contact information to schedule a 10-minute, no-obligation meeting to see if we are a good fit. Let me help you silence your inner critic and improve your overall mental well-being.